Síle's Blog-On Anything & Everything
The 2018 Midterm elections are in a few days and I early voted last week. I certainly hope that the #bluewave they're talking about occurs, because we need a #seachange in our government across the board. I've never seen our country so divided. Let's hope that the Oligarchy in power will return to a democracy next week. In order to do that, we ALL need to VOTE! You have no right to complain if you don't VOTE!
I remember it was three days after the guy in the White House was elected that I had major surgery in 2016. So depressing. I voted for Hillary hoping she would win. That wasn't the case. So now we have the Orange Peel to deal with. Hopefully with a Democratic congress, we can keep him in check for the next two years, because he's dividing our country and making us look like idiots around the globe.
As a white woman I reject hate in all forms and I welcome the so called "browning"of America. My hope is that woman and minorities get elected to public office, because our country needs to adequately reflect the diversity within. Otherwise, we loose our authenticity and the minority gains control of the majority, like Apartheid did in South Africa.
I cannot stress enough to ALL Americans, that you need to VOTE!
I want to give a shout out to all the Urban Explorers on YouTube who treat Exploring with dignity, reverence and respect. I can only hope I will be half as good as they are.
I've always been keen on old places and buildings. Thinking about what was and is no longer. When I watch abandoned videos on YouTube I can't help but wonder what life was like for it's previous inhabitants. The writer in me goes wild with romantic visual notions and I just have to write them down. I've included a spot for one or two British Urban Explorers in the next couple of episodes of I'm Your Mum - The Homecoming.
What speaks to me loud and clear while watching these videos, is that life is too dang short. Imagine what it must have been like for someone to think to themselves (as the ambulance comes to take them away to hospital)..."I'm not coming back to this place." Looking at the draperies the furniture the new addition to the home for the last time ever. What must have been on their minds? In some cases why was the house left abandoned? Did the deceased not have family to take care of it or at least fix it up? Could it not have been resold?
When my mom was rushed to hospital on her last night on earth, what where her thoughts? I'll never know until I pass from this life to the next to be with her. But it's gut wrenching. Did she see herself rocking me in her arms in the rocking chair when when I was a baby, as she was put on a gurney to go into the ambulance? You can see the rooms in my first Abandoned Explore video. It's the house I grew up in, which was later bulldozed to make way for new townhouses.
My dog Tiger. When he was barking out the sound of "I love you" to me did he know his life was about to end? Dang this hurts. I can't write anymore.
Life's too short. Go and live it!
To unfollow or not unfollow that's the question. I've noticed that they're people on social media who follow you but don't give a rat's behind about your work and visa-versa. It's kinda like having or needing health or car insurance. You may need it now, but if you're in a bind then it comes in handy. Could that be said for your followers? Or non followers?
I used to be devastated if someone unfollowed me, but now I realize it's NOT personal so relax. Chill out. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a short period of time. Besides, If they never interact with you or support you then good riddance. Move on to make room for your supporters and people who can actually get you somewhere.
Staying in the same place for too long drives me crazy. A person could stagnate in all aspects of their lives even on social media. Another word similar is procrastination.
Dang! Life can get so complicated. Taking action is that moment when you have enough of the emotional pain and bullsh___t pounding your brain with thoughts of taking action; however, in one moment of madness you break free and DO IT! Good or bad right or wrong you make a decision and take action. Please let me clarify, if you intend to do harm to any living creature this blog post is NOT for you.
Sometimes you have to clear out the parking lot in your brain of all the old "cars" in it and fill the lot with New and better one's. It's hard to do but sometimes you have to let go in order to move forward. What bullsh___t are you holding onto? What grudges are you allowing to fill up your "cars" glove box. Empty it out and heal yourself. Let it go. Move on and take care of yourself.
Today at the Vet's office I realized the severity of Yoshi's skin and infections. He was a stray - animal shelter adoption. I chose Yoshi because I fell in love with him. I was able to look past the appearances of bare skin and loss of fur. Those soulful pitiful eyes spoke to my heart. He needs me to help him get physically better and me mentally better. You could say (like my dog Tiger before him) that he's a emotional Therapy Dog. So the cost of care for him never crossed my mind as I would find a way. I would never dream of returning him to the shelter.
But after sharing a break down of the cost of care my jaw dropped. Is she for real? Is she trying to sell me services and perform tests on Yoshi he doesn't need? You know, kinda like some car service dealers who try to sell products and services your car doesn't need. Like a new air filter that's fine and won't need replacing for a few more months.
To her credit, she worked with me and offered a "first exam free" for people who adopt shelter animals and free months pet insurance. So I give her credit for that. But what shocked me was what she said afterwards. "Please don't take this the wrong way,' but If It were me, I'd take this dog back to the pound to get another one." "He needs to be adopted by a dermatologist." Wait......What did you say? A proper response would have been to say that she realizes that Yoshi's health conditions are a lot to digest right now, but she was there to enable me to help him get better.
I'm the kind of person that if you tell me something like that or tell me what I "should" or "shouldn't" do (unless it has to do with my dog's physical well being) it makes me want to prove you wrong. Did she assume by my dress or attire that I was poor? We all know that I grew up a "Tomboy," so did she assume that I was some kind of sicko and didn't deserve a pet? Or is it like some Veterinarians who assume that if you're poor you're unable to take care of a pet; therefore, you don't deserve one? Not all Veterinarians are like that but still it's frustrating.
Poor or not, if you love your fur baby you will find a way to take proper care of them. And yes, if you abuse or neglect your animal then it should be removed from your home. But that's not the kind of pet owners I'm talking about. I'm talking about pet owners who love and adore they're pets and who would fight for them as well. Pet owner like me, who loved them so much that they were willing to do the humane thing and let them go into the next world by having them put to sleep. We're talking about emotions not money. And for a Vet to say that I should return Yoshi because of the cost of his care is ridiculous. I think that deep down inside, she thinks I'm unable to adequately take care of Yoshi without knowing me. I've done everything right by Yoshi but it seems that she wasn't willing to give me the benefit of the doubt.
I had my dog Tiger for 15 years. Large breed dogs don't usually live that long. Plus he had the same skin condition. He lived so long because he knew he was loved and well looked after. I think I know how to take care of a dog, let alone a child. Yes, I raised a special needs child and he's survived. He's 22 and co - chairman of a local disabilities awareness organization. He advocates for others like him. He has his own apartment and he has a job. When you're responsible parent you make it work.
Today I bought the prescriptions Yoshi needed and they where not as expensive as they were made out to be. So if it's not a financial currency then it's emotional currency. She must not think I welcome the challenge of a special needs fur baby. Well lady, you're mistaken on that. You totally misjudged me. Eh, I got the T - Shirt for that.
My point is this. I'm tired of being judged by people who don't know me. I'm ten times stronger that I look and 100% dedicated to the proper care of my new Fur baby Yoshi. I'm also not alone in this. I have a most awesome brother who has my back. "Take it back to the shelter...?" NOT. Yoshi was abandoned and left for dead by a human being. Dr, ______ I refuse to be the second human being who does.
The question is, should I look for another Veterinarian or confront her? I think I'll pray on that.
Last week I adopted a dog from the Orange County Animal Shelter. His name is Yoshi Wonderbread. When I first saw his sad face in his website photo, I knew right away I had to pick him up. I think Tiger would be pleased and he would applaud my desire to open my heart to allow another fur baby in.
It's been two weeks since my long time fur-baby Tiger passed away knowing he was loved and well cared for. My son via phone was there with me as the veterinarian administered the medicine to allow him to cross over the rainbow bridge. It's hard to let go of a family pets as many are considered to some to be a family members. He was buried in our yard in a decorated box and I received a ceramic imprint of Tigers paw and it's comforting to pull it out and place it next to my heart.
Tiger was born in 2003 born in my hand. He was with me and my son for many years and he was a "guardian of the family." He was my son's protector and unofficial "guide-dog" as he is blind.
The last few years Tiger was featured in my web-series I'm Your Mum as my characters' emotional support dog and his arthritis began to get worse. In the last two weeks he seemed to go downhill quickly. It was the humane thing to let him go. But that was hard as heck.
If there is a lesson to learned it is that we all should celebrate and be present with the people, loved ones and fur babies in our lives. So many walks I had with Tiger I realize how distant I was from him. I wonder if he felt ignored but I'd like to think that he understood and forgave me. Near the end of his life however, I did make the effort to put my petty BS and issues aside. I was "present" with him in the moment and made him part of my conversation. I acknowledged him. It was like making him feel like walking was something we did together. Put the cell phone away and just be present.
This also includes children or family members. Be Present and hear them. Acknowledge them. You don't have to be alone to feel alone. Many people feel alone even in full houses. Pay attention and love one another, because life is too short. Choose to celebrate the people and pets in your life, because once they're gone it's too late to say I love you.
ABC made a swift and decisive decision to cancel Rosanne. We need to more of this more often to anybody who makes racists remarks. Unfortunately, ABC shouldn't have hired her in the first place based on her past history of making (_________) comments about many different groups of people in social media and Twitter.
I grew up in a household that if I ever made a comment like that or even thought about saying the N word, my mother had a bar of soap with my name on it waiting for me. She made no bones about it. My parents were de-segregationalists in Greensboro NC working with Catholic and other religious leaders to fight segregation. She and my father wouldn't tolerate or abide such abhorrent behavior. Luckily, she never had to use the soap because she raised us right; or at least I'd like to think so.
Based on what I've seen and heard on the news channels, more white people need to condemn racism more often than we do and listen more proactively. Do what's right. Take action. As I've said in a recent blog post regarding Bishop Michael Curry..(I paraphrase) Love is a fire burning in our hearts and where there is Love the darkness cannot thrive.
Bernice had a hair shop in downtown Greensboro North Carolina. She did my weaves since 1997. We lost touch for a while, then reconnected in 2013. A few years later she passed away from complications related to her breast cancer. She welcomed me into her shop and made sure the ladies working with her did as well. She lived by the commandment that says we are to love one another and not to judge each other for any reason. See you have to understand the context in order to appreciate this story. Mrs. B, I will forever be grateful to you for standing up for me and standing with me.
My ex mother in law died of breast cancer in the early 2000's and was a teacher. As a teacher she recognized my ADHD right away. Her expertise in that area allowed her to come up with some pretty creative ways to communicate with me. I felt like she understood me. She was an ally so to speak. She made me feel welcome and loved in their family. I felt like I had a friend in the camp so to speak. She was soft-spoken with a valiant spirit like my mothers. She also sang in her church choir and had the most angelic voice. My ex father in law was equally kind to me as he passed away from prostate cancer. He was my second father and he's the inspiration for my Uncle Dave character in I'm Your Mum.
Both these woman were role models to me and that's why I hope to honor their memories through my TV show I'm Your Mum. I also want to thank Ray and honor him for going beyond the call of duty in making me feel welcomed as well. God bless you all. One day we will all be together again along with my loved one's as well and celebrate the lives lived and our journey on earth completed.
Several years ago I had a dear friend who ended up in the hospital a couple of times for cutting on herself. I saw the blood I comforted her in the ER and it was tragic. But I could never get inside her head to find out why. All I could do was comfort her, shut up and listen.
Now if self-harm means more than cutting, then I'm guilty. I used to bang my head against a wooden ironing board when I got angry with myself in college. I would punch myself in the head and call myself dumb ass or stupid, stupid, stupid when something went wrong or I made a mistake. Now much of that happened when I was drunk. I'm an alcoholic with 20 years sobriety and I've been tobacco free for 18 years. So I am aware that hitting myself is not a good thing and that I could end up with a concussion or worse end my life as I know it. I have to keep reminding myself not to hit myself. That's why my mother bought me a drum set when I was a little girl, so that I could take it out on the drums not myself or others. I got quite good at it and played professionally for a few years when I got older. This is not a joke. Many people do it and I'm not talking the "I could of had a V-8 cocktail juice commercial. This is real hard hits. A lot of people like me who are Dyslexic/Dysgraphic and Learning Disabled have trouble with.
My character Sheila Nott, cuts herself too deep in the I'm Your Mum Pilot and dies; however, she is eventually resuscitated. I hope that audiences realize that I don't mean to glamorize such actions as that's the last thing I want to do. I hope the #webseries allows us to talk openly about mental challenges we all face in some form or another. One of the actors is an advanced practice nurse specializing in mental health issues. I will consider her as a great resource in writing future scripts for future episodes. I make this commitment that I will treat this issue with respect and dignity and I welcome feedback and advice on future episodes.