Síle's Blog-On Anything & Everything
Several years ago I had a dear friend who ended up in the hospital a couple of times for cutting on herself. I saw the blood I comforted her in the ER and it was tragic. But I could never get inside her head to find out why. All I could do was comfort her, shut up and listen.
Now if self-harm means more than cutting, then I'm guilty. I used to bang my head against a wooden ironing board when I got angry with myself in college. I would punch myself in the head and call myself dumb ass or stupid, stupid, stupid when something went wrong or I made a mistake. Now much of that happened when I was drunk. I'm an alcoholic with 20 years sobriety and I've been tobacco free for 18 years. So I am aware that hitting myself is not a good thing and that I could end up with a concussion or worse end my life as I know it. I have to keep reminding myself not to hit myself. That's why my mother bought me a drum set when I was a little girl, so that I could take it out on the drums not myself or others. I got quite good at it and played professionally for a few years when I got older. This is not a joke. Many people do it and I'm not talking the "I could of had a V-8 cocktail juice commercial. This is real hard hits. A lot of people like me who are Dyslexic/Dysgraphic and Learning Disabled have trouble with.
My character Sheila Nott, cuts herself too deep in the I'm Your Mum Pilot and dies; however, she is eventually resuscitated. I hope that audiences realize that I don't mean to glamorize such actions as that's the last thing I want to do. I hope the #webseries allows us to talk openly about mental challenges we all face in some form or another. One of the actors is an advanced practice nurse specializing in mental health issues. I will consider her as a great resource in writing future scripts for future episodes. I make this commitment that I will treat this issue with respect and dignity and I welcome feedback and advice on future episodes.