On May first, I received an invitation from a producer of a National TV show. He asked if I would be interested in auditioning for the show after seeing one of my videos on Instagram. In the video, I used a vent mask on an audience member to create a human puppet, and he found it entertaining. I had been using the hashtag #agtlookatme on my videos, which he mentioned he had seen and liked during our phone conversation.

We continued to communicate through text messages and emails until a few months ago. I sent him my audition demo tape, which he either has given or will give to the producers of the show for consideration. As he said in one of his texts, let's keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.

Initially, I had doubts about whether this person was genuine. There are so many trolls out there, waiting for the opportunity to scam and humiliate others or simply be cruel and crush their hopes. It made me wonder if, after years of hard work and struggle, this could finally be my big break. But it turns out that this guy is the real deal, and now I just have to be patient and wait for his response.

I've imagined what it would be like to step onto that stage in front of a crowd of 3,000 people in the auditorium, with even more watching on television. What will the judges say? What questions will they ask? Will they be kind or harsh? And what about the audience? Will they like my performance and applaud, or will they dislike it and boo? Regardless, this is an opportunity that could either launch or break my career. I just hope Howie Mandel isn't too critical.
Síle

What do you do when you see a post by someone you hold dear to you which goes against everything you believe in? When the post actually is about you or members of your community or family? When you lower your head and say they just don't get it. You wonder if you can ever recover from what was posted because the post they made invalidated you. It invalidates who you are what you are. It's kinda disappointing because you held so much respect for them but now you no longer do. That good feeling when you interacted with them is gone. The problem is you're an entertainer and how you respond to them publicly could be a career killer or booster.
​Síle

One of the biggest challenges I've faced as a ventriloquist is lip control. I noticed in some of my videos that I sometimes move my lips a little bit or they twitch. I've seen some professional vents do the same, including Jeff Dunham. For me it means more practice, but sometimes when performing on stage once can get caught up in the moment and slip up. The other thought is, can it affect one's authenticity or credibility while performing? I'm not talking about obvious lip movement, but subtle lip movement.
​Síle

I am currently struggling to secure gigs here in eastern North Carolina. I perform at open mic nights and I consistently make people laugh, as evident in my videos. However, some local agents and comedians dismiss me as a "novelty act with props." It seems that comedy clubs in this region are not accustomed to ventriloquists as adult entertainers. I observe my fellow comedian friends who constantly book gigs, and I believe that I am just as funny, if not funnier, despite utilizing puppets.

Thus, I find myself pondering the reasons behind this discrepancy. Is it due to my personal life? Have I been blacklisted for something I said, did, or wrote? Perhaps it relates to my lifestyle? Could it be that I am considered too old? Or is it simply a matter of being in the wrong location? I recently participated in a personal development Zoom workshop where I gained valuable insights on changing patterns and behaviors, much like the teachings of Tony Robbins. Throughout the training, one particular virtual exercise intrigued me.

The exercise involved placing a piece of cheese in tube three among five tubes. The mouse would easily locate the cheese in tube three upon sniffing it. However, after the 21st attempt, if the cheese was moved to tube five instead, the mouse would eventually find it there. Humans, on the other hand, are not as perceptive. They would repeatedly search tube three for cheese that is no longer present, leading to eventual starvation. Could it be that I am in the wrong tube? Perhaps my cheese awaits in New York or California, rather than here in North Carolina? I should go where I am valued, rather than merely "tolerated."

Among my greatest attributes are determination, stage presence, and integrity. Therefore, pursuing a path similar to Jeff Dunham's seems like a wonderful idea. When he was striving for success, other comedians ridiculed him and scrawled derogatory remarks on bathroom walls in the comedy clubs where he performed. Regardless, Jeff took matters into his own hands and created his own comedy special video with a live audience. He then sold the video to Comedy Central, and the rest is history.

According to Wikipedia, Dunham's most acclaimed work was "Me the People" on Comedy Central, and he is now recognized as one of the most beloved comedians of all time. He did not give up. While his fellow comedians criticized him, he focused on writing, practicing, and producing shows that ultimately earned him a place in the Guinness Book of World Records for selling the most tickets on a stand-up comedy tour. Slate even hailed Dunham as "America's favorite comedian." Pollstar reports that he is currently the highest-grossing stand-up act in North America, and he has achieved significant success in the UK as well. Not many comedians can boast such accomplishments. Jeff Dunham is a ventriloquist, not a prop comic, and he defied the odds.

I may not reach Dunham's level of success as a ventriloquist comedian, but I am certainly determined to give it my all. Just like the mouse searching for food in tube three, only to find it in tube five, I must pause and seek out my own "cheese" to achieve success as a ventriloquist and live the life I have always envisioned.

Síle

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​Síle