Election & Health Care7/28/2019 Right now I'm leaning towards Joe Biden for President. He and Barack Obama provided the ACA which allowed me to get life changing surgery. Let's do Medicare for all, but give people an option to keep their private insurance or their ACA through the health markets. People have to have a choice or else nothing else will work. Get drug prices down and provide coverage and medication for transgender patients. It's a medical condition and it calls for medical care. Otherwise they will get it off the black market and that could be dangerous.
Síle Should I stay or should I go?7/22/2019 Relocating is not easy but sometimes necessary. To go where you're welcome. That's the ticket. But what if it's a form of escapism? What if you're meant to stay and fight? If you leave, will it negatively impact members of the same group you choose to fight for? What if you leave and people's lives are a bit emptier because you left them? But what if it comes down to your happiness over the happiness of others? What if you fail? Will those same people be there to catch you if you fall? Even more thought provoking is that if they can't wait to get rid of you?
That's where faith and good planning come in. Have a plan, then make up your mind and achieve your dreams. The people who love you like family will understand, and the selfish people in your life won't. So the answer is to go for it! Sile Put the cell phone down and listen.6/29/2019 Sometimes when I wake up I want to reach for my phone and connect to the world of social media. I remember a time when that wasn't the case. Used to be the television gave one all the news and gossip. To some degree it still does, but today we're all tied to our phones. We gotta have that "fix."
How can this little device dictate how we behave? They're some benefits but it's not the same as face to face contact. We argue, praise and condemn people without thought to the consequences on social media. We piss people off sometimes. If we were to see them at the local grocery store or in the park, would we get on well? Much of the information on social media can drive a wedge between us. As a cashier at a local grocery store I get to know and talk to all kinds of people from all walks of life. Politics comes up in about 1% of my conversations. If I really disagree with their point of view, do I treat them worse the next time they come through my line, or do I let it go? It's all about as my dad said, "trying to be right." That's the rub. That's the question one has to ask themselves and if you come from a place of love, you will make the right decision. If you come from a place of hate, then the world around you becomes more divisive. We used to be able to disagree, but respect each others point of view. I would submit however; that the type of disagreements where reconcilable. Politicians used to compromise to get things done for the greater good. Not all decisions where good ones, but each side evolved, until 2016. Our world is like a car with an automatic transmission that's stuck in second gear. We're revving our engines trying to get others to notice us and hear our side of the story without listening to theirs. We're so busy bitching (me included) that we stop listening and hearing each other. "My way or the highway!" So we tweet here we tweet there we tweet everywhere. It's like looking for the Scarlet Pimpernel. The only way to get the transmission fixed is to put it in the shop. Maybe we should stop and turn off our phones more often or close our eyes and pray if we're that sort. We need to stop feeding the flame of sadness, despair, fear and loathing in our neck of the woods. We need to think before we tweet. Its become easier due to social media to "pile on" than to "back off." Ask yourself if that person where right in front of you, would you say to their face what you're about to tweet? I'm not preaching apathy just control. It won't happen over night, and if one less person (myself included) refuses to reactive tweet, then slowly but surely we can make progress and fix our broken transmission. Sile It's Sad....6/24/2019 It's sad to see any human or animal in pain or being mistreated. As our world has become unhinged, we've gotten meaner and crueler. Let's cut it out. Be kind compassionate to all living people and animals.
Síle Forgive6/24/2019 I want to ask that you all have a great week and remember to be kind. You don't know what someone is going through, so please be quick to forgive when someone else is acting like a cranky britches.
Sile Go to the moon...6/7/2019 When the 35th President of the United States, John F. Kennedy, said let's go to the moon people thought he was crazy. Thoughts become things. Any great idea or plan started with a dream or desire in the mind of the creator. Of course it didn't happen overnight but it happened. Imagine if John F. Kennedy had said to his detractors; "Yeah you're right." "What a dumb idea to go to the moon." "I mean really." "What kind of LSD was I smoking?" Where would we be today? He didn't know the "How," but he had his "Why." Moreover, he had his passion, drive and determination. I never told anybody in the town of West Jefferson NC, that I was writing a story about Will Banks because I knew they would try to poke holes in it and try to discourage me. I ignored them and wrote it anyway. It will be a web-series someday. Why? Because the story of Will Banks needs to be told for future generations to come. Now that they know about the film, many are still tying to stand in my way. Some of them are racists and alt right wingers who want to waive the rebel flag and go back to the old days of Jim Crow. Some family and friends can be discouraging as well. They can try to cast seeds of doubt as you're thoughts are becoming things. I can tell you as the youngest of eight children, some of my siblings didn't think I would amount to anything. I was the one criticized for being the "black sheep" in the family. The "problem child." The indigent one. Some of my siblings have since come around but some still have a hard time wanting to see me succeed unless it's on their terms not mine. When I was five or six my mom had a choice to make. Send me to public schools or an institution for mentally challenged youth. I would have been sent away to live in an institution for (which was sadly called back then) the mentally retarded. My mom said no. She knew better and put me first in Catholic School then Public. I surpassed all the educator's expectations and eventually graduated with a BA in Theater Arts from Appalachian State University. I know a thing about that as I'm a parent of a child who's legally blind. I worry about him and I thought similarly when I would try to do things for him. Finally I had to let go. I did what my mom did. I had done my job by raising him and now it was time for him to fly. He has soared like an eagle and he's beaten the odds. I'm proud of him. You can read more about him on MyStory page. So that leads me to my move to Vermont. I have a plan, I'm working the plan (with my Creator's help). Just like with my son Mack I had to put him in the Creator's hand and pray like heck that he would guide and protect him. If you're out there and have doubters and haters, please don't give up on your dreams because others may not share them. Forgive them and move on. Don't hold grudges. Let go of the past and work towards a better future for yourself. People who count or matter will see your drive and determination and want to hire you or better still be included in your circle of friends. Find friends who will challenge you in a good way. Not in a way to tear you down but to build you up. So have your plan, cultivate your plan, work the plan and have fun making your thoughts become things. Sile Patch it up...today6/6/2019 I had an amazing experience a few weekends ago. I buried the hatchet with one of my sisters who I was always fond of and looking up to as a child. I won't go into the "why" but I will say I feel at peace about it now. If you're at odds with a sibling, please patch it up today because we're not promised tomorrow.
Sometimes discerning where you need to be in life is difficult. If you do A then B or C are relative or irrelevant. You either win or loose. If you take a leap of faith you may fall on your arse or end up with the golden goose. Now that I've totally confused you, (which I sometimes do) I'm at that point. I have achieved a goal or milestone in 2016. I'm so grateful for it but now what? Sometimes after we get the one thing in life we've needed, we forgot to plan for what comes after our goal is achieved. Kinda like an athlete thinking that the play was whistled dead but it wasn't. There's more life to live. Or so we may think. You gotta keep on going. I've heard it said that "life's a journey not a destination." Run with the ball until the referee blows that proverbial whistle.
Sometimes I feel like a circus animal released into the wild after being caged and doing tricks for audiences for decades. Doing what I had to do to survive kissing arse to thrive. Following the status quo so that I wouldn't be laughed at or made fun of. Imagine feeling the grass on your feet (or paws if you were a circus animal) for the first time or tasting the rain pouring down on your backside, while running with the pack. That freedom to be yourself eluded me for many decades and now that I have this freedom I don't know what to do with it. But it seems that there's always someone who wants to put you back in that cage. Put you back in the status quo circus that we call life. But heck no I aint going back. I can't. At least physically and I won't. To me I've always been me. To others' Iv'e been who they've wanted me to be. Somehow I'm I threat to their perception of their reality. I was labeled Dyslexic, Dysgraphic, Hyper Active ADD & having a learning disability. But with my parent's help I made it all the way to graduating from College. The experts said it couldn't be done. I proved them wrong. The kid who defied the odds. Have you ever seen one of those movies where the main character goes to bed and their life isn't the same as it was when they wake up? And when they do wake up they have a different spouse, house and family? That's the way I feel sometime. Well when my character woke up all hell broke loose. 2 failed marriages and alcoholism to boot. People where saying we don't like this person you've become get away. Bring back the circus act we grew up watching. You're not supposed to do this to us. You're supposed to perform the tricks that come with your manual. Well our manuals aren't the same and no more performances. No more being the Jolly weirdo cashing her customers out at the grocery store. No more being the apologist for who I am, which you've come to know. I'm tired of being the puppet of your perception because my perception is the only one that matters. I'm not less then and I deserve to be here. I'm not an abomination or freak of nature I will rise. I will be who I've always known I am. Me. Sile Staying Alive1/27/2019 If you're reading this and you feel discouraged or down for whatever reason, please don't give up. I wrote I'm Your Mum - Torn Apart for all those people who either committed or where thinking about committing suicide. I've always been told that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Things change day to day and unlike my character in I'm Your Mum, sometimes we don't get second chances to do the right thing. The message in my web-series is clear. You do matter! You do count! You mean something to someone (or in the case of a furry friend) something.
Personally, I'm an alcoholic. I've been drug and alcohol free for 21 years. I was bullied mercilessly in elementary and High School; however, with the help of a Valiant Mom to guide me, I rose above the BS. I do believe that life will get better if we choose to make it so. I believe in meditation and prayer to a higher power. I focus on what a great person I have become despite the obstacles I faced growing up. Sometimes we give bullies too much credit. We sometimes think that their opinion about us will make us or break us. That's a crock of poopy. Imagine in your mind that they are the size of an ant or a roach and you're looking down on them. Then imagine they have a cartoonish goofy look about them. Then just smile and walk away laughing. I like to take my hand and make a brushing motion on one of my shoulders when someone make a rude comment at my job. I smile, look up to the heavens and say thank you God (Creator, Universe). Remember, you're greater than the haters' small minds will ever be with your higher power behind you. Sile Time are Changing1/12/2019 Times are changing for the better for me as I plan on moving to the North Eastern USA. I'm tired of living in the South and I want to go where nobody knows my name. Where I can meet a new set of friends, co-workers, actors, directors, writers, and filmmakers, while staying in tough with those who mean a lot to me here. Sometimes we need new soil to grow in or a bigger body of water to swim in. If there is something positive in your life that you've put off, don't wait another day. Go for it!
The holiday season is upon us and speaking for myself I have a lot to be grateful for. I have a roof over my head a few jobs that keep me a float and certain family members who care about me. I have a decent sense of right and wrong and I care about the welfare and well being of my fellow citizens. I hate to see human and non humans suffer. I pray for a day when there is no suffering and we all treat each other with dignity, respect, tolerance and yes acceptance. The last few years have been rough for us all but the sun is rising and a new day will dawn when we will make peace with our enemies and bring back civility to public service. That's going to require faith, hope, action. Theodore Roosevelt said, "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." We should also be willing to compromise. If not, we will have more of the same. Sile Filmmakers, Welcome Back to NC.11/16/2018 When Pat McCrory was elected governor he nixed the tax incentives for filmmakers, thus ending North Carolina's run as the number 2 spot in film-making in the USA. Our states' nickname was Wilmywood because Wilmington NC was the hub of all filmmakers.
However, thanks to the election of Roy Cooper things have changed. They're film incentives now that will bring people back to NC. According to the North Carolina Film Office, 31 Million in incentives are available now and that's nothing to sneeze at. For those who didn't like the direction North Carolina was taking politically, it's a new day in North Carolina. In the 2018 elections the NC Democrats (who support filmmaker incentives) ended Republicans' Super-majority 2018. See election results in button below. For all Georgia Filmmakers who are dishearten by the elections in that state or Florida, we welcome you back to NC. I encourage Indie filmmakers to take advantage of this, as well as my friends from across the pond. Please visit this website links below, to see the exciting new world of film-making in NC. Welcome back to NC. Sile Racism is Wrong..duh11/7/2018 Racism is running rampant everywhere. We let the genie out of the bottle in 2016 and we have to put it back. As a white woman I stand with my black and brown fellow citizens hand in hand. It's not ok for Ryanair to allow a racist bitter old man to verbally abuse an elderly person of color on an airplane. Sile SNL & Pete Davidson...Embarrassing11/5/2018 Dude you really messed up. That joke was so not cool. I'm a Democrat and I would NEVER make a joke about a Veteran....Period. I come from a Military family. My dad and Uncles fought in WWII and Korea. My uncle Jim was a Lieutenant at the Pentagon, so it's personal to me. There's free speech then there's stupid speech. That was stupid.
You're behaving like Donald Trump. Donald Trump would make a joke like that. Heck I'd vote for Dan Crenshaw. He seems like a decent American to me. Any body who's willing to die so that we may enjoy the freedoms we do has got my support regardless of party affiliation. Pete, you need to apologize sincerely and if not SNL should fire you or suspend you until you do. It's not funny. Grow up. Sile There's a New Awakening11/5/2018 It's the evening before the biggest midterm election ever. I hate elections because I so much is at stake. We can't allow politicians who have no backbone or who don't stand up for ALL people to get our vote. To say that there's good people among Neo Nazis is disqualifying for a president of the greatest country in the world. To rip babies from their mothers grasp is unconscionable and down right evil. I hope the people who stayed home in 2016 can sleep at night. Shame on you. But you have a chance to change that and VOTE tomorrow. I know that playing the blame game isn't productive and we must move forward to make it right. Do right by that mom crying at night anxiously wondering if she will be reunited with her child. Do right by that dad who misses his children as well and who's may secretly cry himself to sleep at night with possible regrets for coming to a country that billed itself as a "shining city on a hill." Damn it get out and effing VOTE! As former president Obama said we can't accomplish everything in a short period of time nor can we ease their pain, but we can start to make things better. We can rebuild and put a check on the guy in the White House to keep him from doing further damage to the infrastructure of our democracy....wait we're in an Oligarchy. Oh well you know what I mean. Once again I will say it. As white woman I celebrate diversity because it's what makes this country thrive and it teaches us to be kind, compassionate and accepting of others. I'll be the first to say that I may have some habits and beliefs that may be contrary to diverse groups of people here, but I'm willing to learn. I'm willing to make a few adjustments so that we can all get along and learn to love each other. That's when real progress can be made. But if we sit on our hands and think that our vote doesn't matter or politicians are all the same, then it's all for shite. This time is different. That's why some Republicans are urging the public to vote for a Democrat. Please VOTE! In closing I will say that no matter what your party affiliation vote for the person not the party. Vote for the most qualified and one who will promote diversity and kindness. Bring it home! Sile
Daylight Savings Time....Ridiculous11/4/2018 I say that we get rid of Daylight Savings Time (DST). We're the only Country that does it and it's stupid. Stop it!
How about we refuse to "spring forward" next year. We loose an hour of sleep and as a nation we're sleep deprived as it is. So let's stop Daylight Savings Time. As Judge Judy says...."That's stupid." "That's ridiculous!" --DISCLAIMER-- Well she doesn't say that about (DST) but she says it about idiots who come before her in her Courtroom on her Television show. Sile My first Webseries Premiere11/3/2018 Well it's here....almost. The work I begun in 2015 has gelled into a 40 minute indie-film pilot of I'm Your Mum. I'm not sure how it will be received but I can only hope it will be the launchpad of my acting career.
My hope is to build on the next episode which is being written as we speak. My vision and goal is to move the series to Manchester England in 2019 and work with an expanded cast and crew. I already know who I want to be in subsequent episodes, but my fear is that they will refuse or choose not to participate, for whatever reason; However, maybe that's my negativity coming out. How about I believe that the right people will come into my life and it will be a huge success. How about I believe that some big famous UK actor / actress will come forward and help out financially and build me up. Just maybe I'll be in all the British talk shows and meet the Queen of England. How about I'm Your Mum becomes the Queen's favorite show. How about we break barriers with this show and we make people feel that they can be successful and achieve their dreams as well. Yeah I think I can live with that. See you at the premiere Sile The 2018 Midterm elections are in a few days and I early voted last week. I certainly hope that the #bluewave they're talking about occurs, because we need a #seachange in our government across the board. I've never seen our country so divided. Let's hope that the Oligarchy in power will return to a democracy next week. In order to do that, we ALL need to VOTE! You have no right to complain if you don't VOTE!
I remember it was three days after the guy in the White House was elected that I had major surgery in 2016. So depressing. I voted for Hillary hoping she would win. That wasn't the case. So now we have the Orange Peel to deal with. Hopefully with a Democratic congress, we can keep him in check for the next two years, because he's dividing our country and making us look like idiots around the globe. As a white woman I reject hate in all forms and I welcome the so called "browning"of America. My hope is that woman and minorities get elected to public office, because our country needs to adequately reflect the diversity within. Otherwise, we loose our authenticity and the minority gains control of the majority, like Apartheid did in South Africa. I cannot stress enough to ALL Americans, that you need to VOTE! Sile Urban Exploring10/11/2018 I want to give a shout out to all the Urban Explorers on YouTube who treat Exploring with dignity, reverence and respect. I can only hope I will be half as good as they are.
I've always been keen on old places and buildings. Thinking about what was and is no longer. When I watch abandoned videos on YouTube I can't help but wonder what life was like for it's previous inhabitants. The writer in me goes wild with romantic visual notions and I just have to write them down. I've included a spot for one or two British Urban Explorers in the next couple of episodes of I'm Your Mum - The Homecoming. What speaks to me loud and clear while watching these videos, is that life is too dang short. Imagine what it must have been like for someone to think to themselves (as the ambulance comes to take them away to hospital)..."I'm not coming back to this place." Looking at the draperies the furniture the new addition to the home for the last time ever. What must have been on their minds? In some cases why was the house left abandoned? Did the deceased not have family to take care of it or at least fix it up? Could it not have been resold? When my mom was rushed to hospital on her last night on earth, what where her thoughts? I'll never know until I pass from this life to the next to be with her. But it's gut wrenching. Did she see herself rocking me in her arms in the rocking chair when when I was a baby, as she was put on a gurney to go into the ambulance? You can see the rooms in my first Abandoned Explore video. It's the house I grew up in, which was later bulldozed to make way for new townhouses. My dog Tiger. When he was barking out the sound of "I love you" to me did he know his life was about to end? Dang this hurts. I can't write anymore. Life's too short. Go and live it! Sile Decisions, Decisions10/11/2018 To unfollow or not unfollow that's the question. I've noticed that they're people on social media who follow you but don't give a rat's behind about your work and visa-versa. It's kinda like having or needing health or car insurance. You may need it now, but if you're in a bind then it comes in handy. Could that be said for your followers? Or non followers?
I used to be devastated if someone unfollowed me, but now I realize it's NOT personal so relax. Chill out. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a short period of time. Besides, If they never interact with you or support you then good riddance. Move on to make room for your supporters and people who can actually get you somewhere. Sile Stagnation10/7/2018 Staying in the same place for too long drives me crazy. A person could stagnate in all aspects of their lives even on social media. Another word similar is procrastination.
Dang! Life can get so complicated. Taking action is that moment when you have enough of the emotional pain and bullsh___t pounding your brain with thoughts of taking action; however, in one moment of madness you break free and DO IT! Good or bad right or wrong you make a decision and take action. Please let me clarify, if you intend to do harm to any living creature this blog post is NOT for you. Sometimes you have to clear out the parking lot in your brain of all the old "cars" in it and fill the lot with New and better one's. It's hard to do but sometimes you have to let go in order to move forward. What bullsh___t are you holding onto? What grudges are you allowing to fill up your "cars" glove box. Empty it out and heal yourself. Let it go. Move on and take care of yourself. Sile Wait, What did you say?10/4/2018 Today at the Vet's office I realized the severity of Yoshi's skin and infections. He was a stray - animal shelter adoption. I chose Yoshi because I fell in love with him. I was able to look past the appearances of bare skin and loss of fur. Those soulful pitiful eyes spoke to my heart. He needs me to help him get physically better and me mentally better. You could say (like my dog Tiger before him) that he's a emotional Therapy Dog. So the cost of care for him never crossed my mind as I would find a way. I would never dream of returning him to the shelter.
But after sharing a break down of the cost of care my jaw dropped. Is she for real? Is she trying to sell me services and perform tests on Yoshi he doesn't need? You know, kinda like some car service dealers who try to sell products and services your car doesn't need. Like a new air filter that's fine and won't need replacing for a few more months. To her credit, she worked with me and offered a "first exam free" for people who adopt shelter animals and free months pet insurance. So I give her credit for that. But what shocked me was what she said afterwards. "Please don't take this the wrong way,' but If It were me, I'd take this dog back to the pound to get another one." "He needs to be adopted by a dermatologist." Wait......What did you say? A proper response would have been to say that she realizes that Yoshi's health conditions are a lot to digest right now, but she was there to enable me to help him get better. I'm the kind of person that if you tell me something like that or tell me what I "should" or "shouldn't" do (unless it has to do with my dog's physical well being) it makes me want to prove you wrong. Did she assume by my dress or attire that I was poor? We all know that I grew up a "Tomboy," so did she assume that I was some kind of sicko and didn't deserve a pet? Or is it like some Veterinarians who assume that if you're poor you're unable to take care of a pet; therefore, you don't deserve one? Not all Veterinarians are like that but still it's frustrating. Poor or not, if you love your fur baby you will find a way to take proper care of them. And yes, if you abuse or neglect your animal then it should be removed from your home. But that's not the kind of pet owners I'm talking about. I'm talking about pet owners who love and adore they're pets and who would fight for them as well. Pet owner like me, who loved them so much that they were willing to do the humane thing and let them go into the next world by having them put to sleep. We're talking about emotions not money. And for a Vet to say that I should return Yoshi because of the cost of his care is ridiculous. I think that deep down inside, she thinks I'm unable to adequately take care of Yoshi without knowing me. I've done everything right by Yoshi but it seems that she wasn't willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. I had my dog Tiger for 15 years. Large breed dogs don't usually live that long. Plus he had the same skin condition. He lived so long because he knew he was loved and well looked after. I think I know how to take care of a dog, let alone a child. Yes, I raised a special needs child and he's survived. He's 22 and co - chairman of a local disabilities awareness organization. He advocates for others like him. He has his own apartment and he has a job. When you're responsible parent you make it work. Today I bought the prescriptions Yoshi needed and they where not as expensive as they were made out to be. So if it's not a financial currency then it's emotional currency. She must not think I welcome the challenge of a special needs fur baby. Well lady, you're mistaken on that. You totally misjudged me. Eh, I got the T - Shirt for that. My point is this. I'm tired of being judged by people who don't know me. I'm ten times stronger that I look and 100% dedicated to the proper care of my new Fur baby Yoshi. I'm also not alone in this. I have a most awesome brother who has my back. "Take it back to the shelter...?" NOT. Yoshi was abandoned and left for dead by a human being. Dr, ______ I refuse to be the second human being who does. The question is, should I look for another Veterinarian or confront her? I think I'll pray on that. Sile A New Fur Baby10/3/2018 Last week I adopted a dog from the Orange County Animal Shelter. His name is Yoshi Wonderbread. When I first saw his sad face in his website photo, I knew right away I had to pick him up. I think Tiger would be pleased and he would applaud my desire to open my heart to allow another fur baby in.
Síle Michaela
Mom, Actress, Activist, Amateur Painter / Artist Archives
December 2020
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