Urban Exploring10/11/2018  I want to give a shout out to all the Urban Explorers on YouTube who treat Exploring with dignity, reverence and respect. I can only hope I will be half as good as they are.
I've always been keen on old places and buildings. Thinking about what was and is no longer. When I watch abandoned videos on YouTube I can't help but wonder what life was like for it's previous inhabitants. The writer in me goes wild with romantic visual notions and I just have to write them down. I've included a spot for one or two British Urban Explorers in the next couple of episodes of I'm Your Mum - The Homecoming. What speaks to me loud and clear while watching these videos, is that life is too dang short. Imagine what it must have been like for someone to think to themselves (as the ambulance comes to take them away to hospital)..."I'm not coming back to this place." Looking at the draperies the furniture the new addition to the home for the last time ever. What must have been on their minds? In some cases why was the house left abandoned? Did the deceased not have family to take care of it or at least fix it up? Could it not have been resold? When my mom was rushed to hospital on her last night on earth, what where her thoughts? I'll never know until I pass from this life to the next to be with her. But it's gut wrenching. Did she see herself rocking me in her arms in the rocking chair when when I was a baby, as she was put on a gurney to go into the ambulance? You can see the rooms in my first Abandoned Explore video. It's the house I grew up in, which was later bulldozed to make way for new townhouses. My dog Tiger. When he was barking out the sound of "I love you" to me did he know his life was about to end? Dang this hurts. I can't write anymore. Life's too short. Go and live it! Sile Decisions, Decisions10/11/2018  To unfollow or not unfollow that's the question. I've noticed that they're people on social media who follow you but don't give a rat's behind about your work and visa-versa. It's kinda like having or needing health or car insurance. You may need it now, but if you're in a bind then it comes in handy. Could that be said for your followers? Or non followers?
I used to be devastated if someone unfollowed me, but now I realize it's NOT personal so relax. Chill out. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a short period of time. Besides, If they never interact with you or support you then good riddance. Move on to make room for your supporters and people who can actually get you somewhere. Sile Stagnation10/7/2018  Staying in the same place for too long drives me crazy. A person could stagnate in all aspects of their lives even on social media. Another word similar is procrastination.
Dang! Life can get so complicated. Taking action is that moment when you have enough of the emotional pain and bullsh___t pounding your brain with thoughts of taking action; however, in one moment of madness you break free and DO IT! Good or bad right or wrong you make a decision and take action. Please let me clarify, if you intend to do harm to any living creature this blog post is NOT for you. Sometimes you have to clear out the parking lot in your brain of all the old "cars" in it and fill the lot with New and better one's. It's hard to do but sometimes you have to let go in order to move forward. What bullsh___t are you holding onto? What grudges are you allowing to fill up your "cars" glove box. Empty it out and heal yourself. Let it go. Move on and take care of yourself. Sile Wait, What did you say?10/4/2018  Today at the Vet's office I realized the severity of Yoshi's skin and infections. He was a stray - animal shelter adoption. I chose Yoshi because I fell in love with him. I was able to look past the appearances of bare skin and loss of fur. Those soulful pitiful eyes spoke to my heart. He needs me to help him get physically better and me mentally better. You could say (like my dog Tiger before him) that he's a emotional Therapy Dog. So the cost of care for him never crossed my mind as I would find a way. I would never dream of returning him to the shelter.
But after sharing a break down of the cost of care my jaw dropped. Is she for real? Is she trying to sell me services and perform tests on Yoshi he doesn't need? You know, kinda like some car service dealers who try to sell products and services your car doesn't need. Like a new air filter that's fine and won't need replacing for a few more months. To her credit, she worked with me and offered a "first exam free" for people who adopt shelter animals and free months pet insurance. So I give her credit for that. But what shocked me was what she said afterwards. "Please don't take this the wrong way,' but If It were me, I'd take this dog back to the pound to get another one." "He needs to be adopted by a dermatologist." Wait......What did you say? A proper response would have been to say that she realizes that Yoshi's health conditions are a lot to digest right now, but she was there to enable me to help him get better. I'm the kind of person that if you tell me something like that or tell me what I "should" or "shouldn't" do (unless it has to do with my dog's physical well being) it makes me want to prove you wrong. Did she assume by my dress or attire that I was poor? We all know that I grew up a "Tomboy," so did she assume that I was some kind of sicko and didn't deserve a pet? Or is it like some Veterinarians who assume that if you're poor you're unable to take care of a pet; therefore, you don't deserve one? Not all Veterinarians are like that but still it's frustrating. Poor or not, if you love your fur baby you will find a way to take proper care of them. And yes, if you abuse or neglect your animal then it should be removed from your home. But that's not the kind of pet owners I'm talking about. I'm talking about pet owners who love and adore they're pets and who would fight for them as well. Pet owner like me, who loved them so much that they were willing to do the humane thing and let them go into the next world by having them put to sleep. We're talking about emotions not money. And for a Vet to say that I should return Yoshi because of the cost of his care is ridiculous. I think that deep down inside, she thinks I'm unable to adequately take care of Yoshi without knowing me. I've done everything right by Yoshi but it seems that she wasn't willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. I had my dog Tiger for 15 years. Large breed dogs don't usually live that long. Plus he had the same skin condition. He lived so long because he knew he was loved and well looked after. I think I know how to take care of a dog, let alone a child. Yes, I raised a special needs child and he's survived. He's 22 and co - chairman of a local disabilities awareness organization. He advocates for others like him. He has his own apartment and he has a job. When you're responsible parent you make it work. Today I bought the prescriptions Yoshi needed and they where not as expensive as they were made out to be. So if it's not a financial currency then it's emotional currency. She must not think I welcome the challenge of a special needs fur baby. Well lady, you're mistaken on that. You totally misjudged me. Eh, I got the T - Shirt for that. My point is this. I'm tired of being judged by people who don't know me. I'm ten times stronger that I look and 100% dedicated to the proper care of my new Fur baby Yoshi. I'm also not alone in this. I have a most awesome brother who has my back. "Take it back to the shelter...?" NOT. Yoshi was abandoned and left for dead by a human being. Dr, ______ I refuse to be the second human being who does. The question is, should I look for another Veterinarian or confront her? I think I'll pray on that. Sile A New Fur Baby10/3/2018  Last week I adopted a dog from the Orange County Animal Shelter. His name is Yoshi Wonderbread. When I first saw his sad face in his website photo, I knew right away I had to pick him up. I think Tiger would be pleased and he would applaud my desire to open my heart to allow another fur baby in.
Síle Michaela
Mom, Actress, Activist, Amateur Painter / Artist Archives
December 2020
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